Out of Left Field

So I'm sitting on the sofa today when kiddo comes up and kneels next to me and whispers in my ear "I don't want to grow up."

At first I thought maybe it was something his buddy had said to him to make him feel that way because it is not something he had ever mentioned before. I asked him why, and with red almost teary eyes he whispers "I just don't want to grow up."

Hubby was watching t.v. and playing guitar and I could see that this was something that was weighing on kiddo. I said I thought we should go talk about it and headed to his room. I saw his little face right before he walked in and he looked pretty unsure whether or not he wanted to have this discussion. My heart was sad for him and I wasn't even really sure why.

I sat down on his bed and patted next to me and he sat down, I pulled the comfy blanket over our laps and said "Okay, let's talk about this. Why did you say that you didn't want to grow up?"

His little red eyes looked away and he said "I just don't want to not be a boy."

At this point I really had no idea where this came from or what was making him feel this way. I do know that I felt really bad for him and wanted to figure at least some of this out. So I asked "What makes you not want to grow up?" I snuggled him close, my little thinker.

"Well I would be too big for my chair..." he exclaimed, irritated while pointing to his chair now very close to tears.

"Okay, well they make those chairs for bigger boys too. What else?"

"Well I would be too big for my bed..."still irritated.

"If I can lay down in your bed and be comfortable then when you grow bigger, it will still be big enough for you. If it isn't we can get you a bigger bed." I was still wondering where all of this came from. I wasn't trying to disregard his feelings because obviously they were very real.

"Well you push me out of bed when you laid with me." He was still fighting his case.

"Honey growing doesn't happen very fast. You grow a little bit, little bit, little bit and you don't even realize that you are growing. Besides, once you grow really big, do you know what you will be able to do?"

He looked up at me with big eyes, knowing that I was at least going to make him feel better for this minute.

"You can say 'Mom, I'm taking the Jeep. I'm going to pick up Grammy and take her out to lunch.' and I'll say 'Okay, have fun, tell her hello for me.'"

He was looking away but I could see a smile and his little imagination going. The thought of driving, Grammy and the Jeep seemed to make growing up not so bad.

"Or I could say, 'Hey, could you run to the store for me and pick me up a bag of chocolate chips? I want to make some cookies.' and you could take the car and go to the store and bring me back what I needed all by yourself."

At this point he hoisted himself from being snuggled at my side and got onto his knees, still red eyed. He began to tell me what else he could do when his Dad peeked his head in the door. He asked if everything was alright. I asked kiddo if I could tell him what we were talking about and he said yeah. I told him that he didn't want to grow up and about the chair and the bed. Then I started to tell him about going to drive himself to pick up Grammy for lunch and kiddo put his hand over my mouth. Thinking that he was going to finish, I waited for him.

He thought for a minute and you could almost hear the wheels turning in his head.

"When I grow up I am still going to like Star Wars." he announced with passion and true statement. Like growing up was not going to change the things that brought him so much fun and joy.

Hubby says "Well yeah... I still like Star Wars!"

I still wonder what exactly made him feel that way. What the thought process was and how it all was played out in his mind. It was a little heartbreaking and a little mind opening for me too though.

Man, I love my little thinker.

Zeus vs. Luke Skywalker

With a gazillion channels on television, you can always depend on the History Channel. This weekend we ended up watching Cities of the Underworld. He traveled beneath the ancient Greek cities and touched on some of the Greek Gods. I remember in 2nd grade I was in a special class where we learned about many of them. It was so exciting and I still recall some of the stories pretty vividly. That led me to thinking "Is this too involved/violent/advanced for me to start teaching the kiddo?"

During the show kiddo was asking questions about who was this and what was that. I was answering to the best of my ability when I realized, it was no more involved or violent than Star Wars, and he knows ALL about that! I have been searching the net and have found several good books with high ratings for children on Greek Mythology. I'm not sure what we will pick up but I thought we may head to the library and see what is available there first. I am looking forward to re-learning along with him.

If you know of any spectacular books that you have used for Greek Mythology, please add them in the comments!

"My Mom hits me when I'm bad..." WHAT?

Okay so I have to share with you a funny thing that happened to me today.

Let me start by going over a little bit of parenting techniques my husband and I use. When kiddo was little, say about 18 months maybe, I remember I slapped his hand when he didn't listen to me about not touching something. I felt like a jerk and it didn't work. So I then decided that the whole spanking thing works for some folks, not for us. My Mom gave me a good idea when I asked how in the world I was supposed to get his attention and fast. She said to clap my hands very loudly one time to surprise him, and get his attention on me and not whatever it was occupying him. I tried it, it worked, I used it. I haven't had to use it in a long time, though when I do need to use it, it still works because it is not something we have worn out and used for an all the time thing.

Okay so now that we have that settled, this is what happened today. Often on Tuesdays my Mom will come to town and we go out to lunch and grocery shop, go to the book store, whatever, just a fun hanging out day for us. Today we started at our favorite salad place, it shall not be named, though that is a whole different story (sorry Mom, lol, I had to). So we pay and get our plates and kiddo is talking to my Mom. There is an older lady getting her plate as well and I started talking to her about something, probably just saying hi or some other random conversation I strike up with strangers.

Kiddo walks over, looks at her and says "My Mom hits me when I'm bad."

I look at him stunned. In complete shock of what this lady thinks of me and how horrible that sounded and above all WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD HE SAY THAT? I kind of laughed a nervous laugh thinking for certain CPS would be on the way soon when she looked at him and said

"That is because she loves you sweetie."

He looked at her with a similar look I had a moment prior. I then explained to her that I do not hit him and I don't know why he would say that, she didn't seem concerned at all.

In fact she said "Well whatever you are doing, you are doing something right."

Okay so she hadn't speed dialed CPS secretly in her purse while she calmly kept me on the property until they got there, that was good. We got to talking a bit and she was super nice, I still don't think she believed that I didn't hit him when he was bad, but whatever.

I continued to build my random fabulous salad and gather some things for kiddo, found the booth he and Mom had chosen and sat down. Still a bit stunned but eager to eat my good fresh food and enjoy our lunch.

When we were through, my Mom kind of laughed and said "My Mom hits me when I'm bad." We both laughed and I then felt the need to reassure her that I didn't beat him behind closed doors.

So while he was enjoying his frozen yogurt, I asked as casually as possible "Hey, why did you tell that lady that I hit you when you are bad?" He shrugs.

I asked "Do I hit you when you are bad?" He shook his head and kept eating his yogurt happily.

"No seriously why did you say that?"

"Well when we are playing Star Wars (Lego Star Wars on the PS2) and you are the other player and we are fighting bad guys and I look like a bad guy sometimes you kill me on accident." He continued with his yogurt. Looking at my Mom and I like "Why are they laughing?"

I admit, when we are playing and he looks like say, a Clone Trooper, I have been known to take him on more than one occasion. I was happy then that no weapons were mentioned in his confessions to strangers! My Mom and I both shook our heads and laughed for a bit, then I felt the need to explain this to him.

"You know when you said that to that lady, she thought you meant when you are not acting right or being cranky, that I hit you. You can't tell people that sweetie. Or you have to be more specific next time maybe when you say that because I could get in trouble as a Mom if people think that I hit you."

Mouth full of frozen yogurt he managed an "Okay."

Then my Mom pipes in. "You know you just are digging yourself deeper right? 'My Mom hits me when I'm bad but I'm not supposed to tell anybody about it'"

Goodness, what have I done?! LOL

What Homeschooling Means to Me...

This has been on my mind quite a bit lately. Recently I have been experiencing so many different people with so many different ideas. I have never really been someone who does things like others do. I enjoy doing new things and often jump in with little instruction. Even with a lack of instruction I seem to focus on finding the most efficient way of doing things. (Okay, other than laundry, that I just try to avoid...) When I am interested in something new I immerse myself in it. Like with spinning, I thought handspun yarn was gorgeous and knew if I had a wheel I could figure it out, and I did.

When kiddo was about eight months old I decided that I absolutely wanted to homeschool, I read pretty much every book about it from the library. Some of it was not my idea of how I thought it should be, though other parts have really stuck with me. One book I read mentioned that feeling that kids have on Friday when they are let out of school. That freedom and excitement from not having to sit in a chair, or be around cranky kids, or a cranky teacher, or being stuck in a classroom where they were studying something that they really didn't get or understand with no additional time for instruction or help. This book said that when you homeschool, everyday feels like Friday.

Another book mentioned that you can learn ANYWHERE. Now, kiddo is my sidekick. Anywhere I go, he goes for the most part. I have heard people say that "unschoolers" just drag their kids around with them all of the time and don't "do" anything. I am not sure what I would classify my style of homeschool as. What I do know is that you CAN learn anywhere.

People will ask when we are going to "start" homeschooling and there is always kind of a pause. For us, we started from.....well pretty much birth. Actually before birth! I had read the first few chapters of a book that was about teaching your baby to love to read from inside the womb. It was a study that was conducted about reading one book, The Cat in the Hat, to your belly twice a day everyday, then continuing reading it after they were born. I can still to this day recite the entire book!

Before he could speak I taught him sign language so he could better communicate his needs. When he could speak I made sure to encourage him to use the correct words and not "baby" words. (Just as I was sitting here typing, kiddo ran up hair all askew and still in pajamas and says "Let's do school!" so we sat down and practiced writing his letters for a few. Then he wanted a snack, LOL)

Books have always been a part of our days, from the very beginning. It started with just showing the pictures and then progressed to having him point things out, and then naming them, and now sounding out the words and sometimes looking up different facts about the things he asks questions about. Like the day he told me dolphins don't sleep and I said of course they...wait do they? After a bit of Google searching we learned that for about 8 hours of a day, they shut down the left half of their brain for 4 hours and then switch to the right half, all the while still able to swim slowly, float near the surface or in shallow waters. THIS is what I love about homeschool.

I think a big part of teaching your children comes from actually listening to what they have to say. You know when I first found out I was pregnant, I wasn't sure "what" I was supposed to do. The thought of parenting was intimidating and it was something that I knew I wanted to do "right." My Mom was a big support system for me. She let me know that as long as I tried my best and recognized that he was a "person" that I would be fine. My parents have very different qualities to them. My Dad being very matter of fact, and coming from a military background, very strict and rule focused while still remaining creative and imaginative and I am so thankful for that and what that instilled in me. My Mom is very creative and easy going, always willing to answer questions and spark creativity and imagination, while also being very much on the goofy side and offering a laugh whenever I need one. I like to think that I can find a balance between the rules and the goofy creativity, to take a bit from each of my influences to parent with.

I have to give my Mom a huge THANK YOU for something seeming slightly unrelated but actually a huge determining factor in the relationship that kiddo and I have. After I had him, money was really tight. REALLY tight. Since I was 14 I have always had a job, I enjoy working and getting a check to show that I put in my time and effort and was rewarded for it. For the first time in my life I felt helpless as far as finances go. I now was the keeper of this amazing little character and my days and nights were already spoken for. Friends of mine shipped kids off to Grandma's while they kept a day job. My Mom for more reasons than one, decided this was not how things were going to work. I admit, I was irked about it more than once. I thought, "Can't she see that we are struggling here?" She assured me that the time that she spent with us at home when we were little was time that meant more than the world. Because of that, I have really been able to form a relationship with him based on experience, listening and "knowing" him. I realize now, and have known for a while, exactly the reason she did what she did, and I am absolutely eternally grateful for that.

So now that he is four and big enough to look "school aged" we get questions when we go places. "Where do you go to school?" At first it was strange trying to explain to him that he would not be riding on the big yellow bus everyday. Now when people ask he says, "Oh we do homeschool!" Then more questions, "What curriculum are you using?" Well, here it is for you. All of the requirements and outlines for each year of learning are available for reading, studying and printing online. There are countless books about what your ____ grader should know. Between the library, our own book selection at home including a full set of encyclopedias, the grocery store, the produce market, the backyard, the piano, guitar, art supplies, imagination and last but certainly not least...the resources online, I have absolutely no desire to spend a dime on curriculum.

The world is our classroom. Here is an example of what I mean. I say to him "Let's bake some muffins!" Of course the response from him is an excited one, knowing how delicious muffins are. Here is a list of things that can be taught from one simple batch of muffins:
~ gathering items needed for the recipe
~ counting eggs and other items needed
~ recognizing the difference between flour and sugar, honey and oil, baking powder and baking soda by using phonics and pre-reading letter recognition
~ measuring and sometimes multiplying ingredients
~ big bigger biggest with all measuring tools
~ science and the way ingredients react with one another while mixing and during the baking process
~ experimenting with added ingredients and taking chances and discovering the results
~ preparation such as pre-heating the oven, greasing the pan and why you grease it
~ fire safety and how to do things in the kitchen so we don't get hurt
~ time awareness and learning to tell time on a clock
~ nutrition and healthy eating habits, what different ingredients are made of and how they react with our bodies
~ dividing the batter into the cups to make them even

Now I am sure that there are many more but these are the ones that first came to mind. I am not saying that each one of these are discussed every single time we bake a batch of muffins, but over the course of 4 or so batches, so much can be learned. You just have to take the time and be aware of what fits where. Even in clean up we can learn. The importance of cleanliness and bacteria and how it grows and why. Now these are the types of things I think of when I think of how homeschool works for us.

I am constantly exploring different ideas and ways that we can learn. Currently he is learning how to officially write his letters. He has known how to write many of them and will ask how to spell certain words and write them on his own. We have a pre-k workbook that we are working in right now that has proved to be very helpful. It sparks the imagination and has a way of progressing that he has taken to very easily. We have workbooks through grade 3 right now, so I look forward to using those in conjunction with our "world is our classroom" learning techniques.

When I first voiced my decision to homeschool I had very mixed reactions from family members. The biggest concern was interaction with other children and social skills. Trust me, this was a major concern of mine as well....until I learned a little more about what was actually available. He is in a gymnastics class once a week which has been a fabulous influence. I like it because he has the chance to interact with other kids, while learning how to compete with himself and learn from someone other than me. I remember the day that I realized it really clicked with him. I don't expect he will be entering the Olympics any time soon, he has more of a stunt man way of performance! It is good for his confidence and social skills, the teachers are amazing as well as a good mix of other children his age. This is only one of many social opportunities that he will experience. There are different sports groups, field trips, science fairs, theatrical groups, band, foreign language classes and countless others we will be exploring as time progresses. After years of discussions, the family members that were on the fence or slightly anti-homeschool, have come around. Some of them actually fully embracing it and excited and confident in my decision.

I'm not sure if anyone is still reading, but I can't tell you how much being able to get all of this out means to me. Going through and writing down my thoughts has made me confident again about my decisions. It has been an interesting journey so far and I am so excited for what the future brings us. Thanks for taking the time to read what homeschooling means to me. I hope that you can take with you what you want and make it work for you. Homeschooling is not for everyone, but it is for us and you have the choice to decide what is right for your family. Make sure that you are true to yourself and that you do not let others influence you to go against what you feel in your gut. If you have any questions or comments, I would love for you to let me know! Good luck on your journey wherever it takes you!

How Exciting!

Just last night I reached one of my goals! A while back I was talking about putting my" items sold number goals" on my vision board. Well at the time I thought it would take forever to reach it but just last night I hit 265 sales! (Actually 266, which rocks!) I have now placed a new goal up there, it's kind of a fun one for me and my love (issue) with the number 3. "Total items sold on Etsy 333!" Woo hoo! As much fun as it was for me to hit and surpass my 265 goal, I am kind of hoping I hit this one straight on.

A Year of Realizations...

This year has been quite and experience. So much has happened for me personally. I have always held on to some sort of creative outlet. In New Orleans I had the job at Mardi Gras World painting and designing floats. That led me in a sort of backwards way to wire sculpture, which led me to jewelry. I enjoyed creating wild pendants out of thick sterling silver wire. I remember how exciting it was when the contemporary art gallery asked me if I would sell them there. That phase ended after several years and I got back into crochet. I made hats just last Christmas for some friends. I considered selling them on Etsy but before I even had time to entertain the idea, a friend mentioned "Lets dye some wool yarn! We can do it with Kool-Aid!" That was around February.

If you asked me last year if I had ever considered spinning yarn, I probably would've cocked my head to the side and said "Like with a spinning wheel?!?" I used to be able to bust out a wire pendant in just a few minutes. It was fun to sit down with a hunk of silver and an hour later have 5-10 pendants to show for it. This spinning yarn thing though, it is so different. I have always been one to find the most efficient way to do things. Working with wool has taught me to be patient. From the very first opening of the bag of fluffy wool, to the needles or a photo shoot for my Etsy shop, it's a journey.

There are so many steps involved in creating yarn. The dyeing process has taught me to let go of my "plan" that I usually have for everything. Some wools take dye differently, some dyes don't end up like I expected, some days the city water has been treated and I end up with pastel mania. Once they are hung to dry in the Texas sun, they often surprise me. I can't even explain how exciting it is to have a fresh batch of dyed roving drying. This is where the patience comes in. I will admit, some rovings peek my curiosity so much I have spun them while they are still the slightest bit damp. For most of them though, I must wait until they dry. Very few have ended up like I actually picture them. It is amazing the transformation that takes place as the colors twist and blend together in the spinning process. There is absolutely no way that any machine could ever produce the effect of handspun yarn.

The options that you have when you start to spin are practically endless. From super thin to super bulky and everything in between. Some fibers pretty much tell you how they want to be spun. You can go into it thinking, I will spin this into a bulky yarn, then the fiber says no. Some want to be thick and thin. You never really know until you get going. I like to experiment. Actually, not having been taught how to spin in the first place, this whole venture was an experiment!

My handspun yarn was the first handspun I had ever worked with. I received my wheel in pieces in the mail in March of this year and still remember the excitement as I was putting it together. I felt like I was about to conquer something I knew little about. I had a box full of wool and I just went for it! There were so many variables: tension, fiber, distance, speed, technique (of which I had none!) I don't remember a definitive moment when it clicked, it was a gradual process. I do remember the first time I realized the thing I had just created could pass for yarn! It was still a few weeks before I decided to use some of my handspun to crochet with. It was a purple and pink blend and I had just enough of it to make a coffee cup sleeve. This was before I had learned to knit. Well I had attempted knitting but it was still dangerous to be in the vicinity when I had two pointy sticks and so much frustration from not really knowing what I was doing! The experience to create something out of a supply that I created from a pile of fluff was nothing short of amazing.

I still enjoy experimenting. In fact almost every skein I spin still teaches me a little something. I see other fiber artists work and I think "I can do that." I have gone from spinning uncontrollable thick and thin yarns to all sorts of (now I can actually call them this) techniques. Consistently spun, super thin, super thick, slubs, art yarn (which was a challenge for me and my symmetrical self), coils and others.

My very favorite part about spinning though...sharing it with others. Every skein I send off is exciting. I mean who really ever knows what it will become? There are so many possibilities when you create a "supply." I create so others can create, gotta love it!

Now my knitting skills have improved. I am happy to say it is no longer dangerous to be in my presence with two pointy sticks. In fact, this year, I knit a bunch of my family's gifts. I was a joy to do and I can't wait to gift them!

Have a happy holiday everyone and I hope your hearts will be full of joy. Each and every one of us has so much to be thankful for.

Easily Amused!

So my parents came to pick up kiddo and take him shopping for hubby and me for Christmas. A secret shopping trip that they have been wanting to do since last year, just waiting until he was a bit older. He loves hanging out with them and was so excited from the moment I told him. There aren't many things he likes to do without me, but an outing with Grammy and Grandpa was absolutely up his alley! He was dressed and ready to go about two hours before they were even supposed to arrive and for a 4 year old, that is EARLY! I planned on shopping solo for a shirt for our annual family photos (which we decided we would all wear blue and I didn't have a pretty blue top) and have a minute to try some things on. I stroll into a shop in the mall..... there they are! Of course, out of all the gin joints right? I had a quick success and headed out so they could carry on with top secret shopping.

I asked kiddo what he got for us, knowing he had been prompted to say "You have to wait until Christmas!" and that is what he said. Then later we were hanging out on the sofa and a Zales commercial came on. He was quiet and then he says "I got you the most beautiful earrings!" I pretended not to hear because instantly he realized he wasn't supposed to say anything. I am willing to bet they are not from Zales, but based on the earrings he "won" for me out of a vending machine, I imagine they are quite sparkly. He digs the sparkly stuff. I dig him.

This afternoon was about mid to high 70s. The sky looked all mysterious like it wasn't sure what it was supposed to do. Windy gusts and fast moving clouds rolled in in the evening hours. The temperature was steadily dropping. I heard there was a chance for snow but this is Texas, I mean come on now. It doesn't snow here.

First it was sleet, then it turned to the fluffy white goodness!