"My Mom hits me when I'm bad..." WHAT?

Okay so I have to share with you a funny thing that happened to me today.

Let me start by going over a little bit of parenting techniques my husband and I use. When kiddo was little, say about 18 months maybe, I remember I slapped his hand when he didn't listen to me about not touching something. I felt like a jerk and it didn't work. So I then decided that the whole spanking thing works for some folks, not for us. My Mom gave me a good idea when I asked how in the world I was supposed to get his attention and fast. She said to clap my hands very loudly one time to surprise him, and get his attention on me and not whatever it was occupying him. I tried it, it worked, I used it. I haven't had to use it in a long time, though when I do need to use it, it still works because it is not something we have worn out and used for an all the time thing.

Okay so now that we have that settled, this is what happened today. Often on Tuesdays my Mom will come to town and we go out to lunch and grocery shop, go to the book store, whatever, just a fun hanging out day for us. Today we started at our favorite salad place, it shall not be named, though that is a whole different story (sorry Mom, lol, I had to). So we pay and get our plates and kiddo is talking to my Mom. There is an older lady getting her plate as well and I started talking to her about something, probably just saying hi or some other random conversation I strike up with strangers.

Kiddo walks over, looks at her and says "My Mom hits me when I'm bad."

I look at him stunned. In complete shock of what this lady thinks of me and how horrible that sounded and above all WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD HE SAY THAT? I kind of laughed a nervous laugh thinking for certain CPS would be on the way soon when she looked at him and said

"That is because she loves you sweetie."

He looked at her with a similar look I had a moment prior. I then explained to her that I do not hit him and I don't know why he would say that, she didn't seem concerned at all.

In fact she said "Well whatever you are doing, you are doing something right."

Okay so she hadn't speed dialed CPS secretly in her purse while she calmly kept me on the property until they got there, that was good. We got to talking a bit and she was super nice, I still don't think she believed that I didn't hit him when he was bad, but whatever.

I continued to build my random fabulous salad and gather some things for kiddo, found the booth he and Mom had chosen and sat down. Still a bit stunned but eager to eat my good fresh food and enjoy our lunch.

When we were through, my Mom kind of laughed and said "My Mom hits me when I'm bad." We both laughed and I then felt the need to reassure her that I didn't beat him behind closed doors.

So while he was enjoying his frozen yogurt, I asked as casually as possible "Hey, why did you tell that lady that I hit you when you are bad?" He shrugs.

I asked "Do I hit you when you are bad?" He shook his head and kept eating his yogurt happily.

"No seriously why did you say that?"

"Well when we are playing Star Wars (Lego Star Wars on the PS2) and you are the other player and we are fighting bad guys and I look like a bad guy sometimes you kill me on accident." He continued with his yogurt. Looking at my Mom and I like "Why are they laughing?"

I admit, when we are playing and he looks like say, a Clone Trooper, I have been known to take him on more than one occasion. I was happy then that no weapons were mentioned in his confessions to strangers! My Mom and I both shook our heads and laughed for a bit, then I felt the need to explain this to him.

"You know when you said that to that lady, she thought you meant when you are not acting right or being cranky, that I hit you. You can't tell people that sweetie. Or you have to be more specific next time maybe when you say that because I could get in trouble as a Mom if people think that I hit you."

Mouth full of frozen yogurt he managed an "Okay."

Then my Mom pipes in. "You know you just are digging yourself deeper right? 'My Mom hits me when I'm bad but I'm not supposed to tell anybody about it'"

Goodness, what have I done?! LOL